School is open next week.
I’m just as sick and sad as the kids. Yes, I haven’t worked on a regular schedule all summer, and am way behind my next deadline, and practically deserted my fabulous Probst Posse street team and only Facebooked posts about vacations and cocktails and foods I shouldn’t be eating but who the hell cares? Summer rocks. I don’t want to go back to work and I don’t want to wear boots and I don’t want my kids to go back to school. I’d be happy to live in summer my whole life and that’s just the way it is.
BUT…I can’t. I need to go adult again and try to convince my kids next week won’t suck the big one. During Labor Day weekend, there are tons of countdowns going on. Best music of the summer. Best books of the summer. Best movies of the summer.
How about THE TOP TEN SUCKY MOM MOMENTS OF THE SUMMER?
I got a few.
1. Another summer gone and my youngest one still doesn’t know how to tie his shoes. Do they make velcro sneakers for teens?
2. Even though I had plenty of extra time, I still fed my kids crappy waffles and chocolate chip pancakes out of the box. For a little treat, I’d microwave some bacon and sausage and call it a morning. I’m a real rock star.
3. Piggybacking on the breakfast thing, I realized I’m still cutting up my boys’ waffles and putting on their syrup. Do they even know how to cut their food with a fork and butter knife? Why is it still easier to do it myself?!
4. I had intentions to read a lot to them this summer and be at the library once per week. Fail/Fail. But they definitely reached master status on the 3DS…
4. I forgot bath and shower day. I think at times they’ve gone the entire week and I comforted myself by saying chlorine from the pool washes away the germs. Dear God, does it???
5. They go to bed at midnight. The rule is as long as they don’t bother me, I don’t really care when they go to bed. At times this summer, I’ve finished up my book, looked at the clock to see 1am, and realized my boys were still wandering around the house doing shit. This cannot be a good thing.
6. The summer math homework for my oldest one is still untouched in the same place I left it in June.
7. The summer book list for my youngest one is still untouched in the same place I left it in June.
8. I forgot to put sunscreen on my boys. A. LOT.
9. My son still wore footy pajamas all summer because I never put away his winter shit.
10. We never had one play date with the hundreds of people I swore we’d see all summer—even our neighbors.
What’s your suckiest Mom moment of the summer?!