It’s been ages since I’ve taken the time to write a blog post.
And if asked why, I can give a plethora of excuses which is always led by lack of time, but maybe it’s as simple as: I didn’t have anything to say. Words are strange things—I live my life by them and they construct the foundation of a passion and career, but many times, the silence is more powerful. The times I can sit by myself and take a step back.
I took some classes with a writing coach, Becca Syme, who teaches Write Better Faster courses, and after digging into my personality, I found intellection was number three in my top ten list of traits. I knew achiever, positivity, and empathy were up there. Even relator, since I have always been one to treasure close relationships in smaller groups rather than giant crowds of too many.
But intellection was interesting. It basically means I need to step back and process. Give time to percolate stories. I never realized I was that type of writer because my entire life, the ideas spilled over, consistently bubbling up and demanding I write them. I have been writing nonstop since I was twelve years old, whether I was published or not. Ten years ago, I began a serious deep dive and completed about five books per year for almost a decade.
That’s a lot of writing and a lot of productivity. Didn’t think much about intellection since being on such a demanding schedule kept my nose to the literal grindstone.
Until…lately. The past two years have been an exploration of change. I need longer now to process. I need to slow down and delve deeper with my books. My Muse is no longer happy with me cracking the whip and I can no longer produce on demand.
This is both terrifying and elative. The idea of being able to stop and linger fills me with wonder. This process is like discovering a new aspect of myself, learning to be okay with it while my achiever goes into full panic mode. I have to trust more. Extend deadlines. My drafts are messier and circle around in strange ways, when I’d always been a linear writer. I experience burn out easier, as if my brain is overloaded more often and I need to shut down. Simplify.
I love using social media for positivity, for help, for inspiration, for humor. But over the past year, I stopped updating my personal Facebook page. Each time I poised at the keys, I thought of a million things to write and never wanted to share a word. I was listening, an observer of the world, enjoying other posts but not ready to share anything from my heart.
Why? I’m not sure. There’s been some deeper challenges I’ve needed to work out with my vision, my Self, my spirit. I’ve experimented a bit with sharing writing advice or inspiration that moves me. I find my purpose is clearer when I give back to community, even if I’m promoting my books because I believe in them and my ability to entertain, make people laugh, and feel good.
That’s it, my peeps. My mish mash of thoughts put into a blog because I wanted to touch base with all of you and make a connection. To maybe help someone feel not so alone. Let you know I’m here, showing up, trying to find joy and gratitude in the day to day.
I truly hope you are all having a wonderful summer.